Party: Casual Apes - Jokes Please!

Party: Casual Apes - Jokes Please!

Jokes Please! is an award-winning stand-up comedy show that happens every Thursday at LMG. You should come!

Comedians:

Charles Demers
Ivan Decker
Sophie Buddle
James Kennedy
Ed Konyha
Yumi Nagashima
and Ross Dauk

Doors: 8:30
Show: 9pm
Door: $5
Drinks: $4

One quiet 2 am three friends and I were sitting for five minutes with a six-pack on a curb outside a 7-11. During that time we each ate about nine potato wedges slowly attending to our drinks.

An old convertible pulled up, lights blasted us in the eyes. A couple hopped out of the running car and looked at our slack faces. As they went inside the man muttered something and then the woman responded, “Yeah, like casual apes.”

The doors slid closed behind them and we laughed wildly. Our teeth were bared, eyes narrowed with a shrewdness. Our howls cut into the night.

“CASUAL apes?” said my most gorilla-esque friend. From a low squat he leapt onto the hood of their running car reached over the windscreen and ripped the rear mirror from the car.

It ignited the troop.

We leapt up hollering. We sprayed foamy beer from cans, pulled the front bumper from the frame, someone spiked a garbage can denting the trunk.

The couple ran out screaming, slurpee flying everywhere. Delayed by the sliding convenience store door they missed us by a moment. We tore out of the lot in the freshly stolen car and directly into a street lamp across the road. We tumbled out of the steaming car and ran on feet and knuckles into the nearby woods chattering with fear and triumph.

The man and woman collapsed onto the curb and sipped their slurpees. Two brain freezes each later the police arrived. The sergeant did not believe the tale. He administered the breathalyzer, gave a DUI and had the totalled car towed away.